Life

If you come here for music-related stuff, then I’ll tell you that occasionally I go off the reservation and post something a little more eternally meaningful than paradiddles and counterpoint.

This is one of those times.

I wrote about my experience with laproscopic weightloss surgery (WLS) a long time ago on this blog so if my “sudden” interest in the subject makes no sense to you, that will explain it.

Chris Christie revealed that he had a Lap Band procedure to dump the weight he’s put on over the years and have a chance at a better and more healthy lifestyle. He’s getting mixed reactions in the press for the decision, some calling it “politically motivated” while others are just happy for him and are saying, “Good for you, man! Be healthy!”

This is how the world works. You always have to have some ulterior motive. You can’t just “do something” because it’s the right thing for YOU to do. We crave the drama of it. I got that, too. And I’m no Chris Christie. People thought I was “being vain” when I had my WLS back in 2004. But the truth is that a doctor had just said something to me that shook me to my core:

You will be dead by the time you are thirty-one.

When you hear something like that… Well, fuck whatever everyone else thinks. Suddenly, you become the most self-obsessed person you know. At least I did. And good thing, or I wouldn’t be here now in 2013 enjoying my life.

But boy, when you make these sorts of decisions… You know, the ones that throw people for a loop… You get all kinds of reactions. And so will Chris. He’ll get them because people expect you be a certain way. People just expect by now for Chris to be a fat guy. That’s the expectation. Screw his health. Screw his life. And screw his family. HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE FAT, DAMMIT! That’s HIM. That’s how we know him. But obviously that’s not who he is, so now he’s intent to allow the “real Chris Christie” to shine through. The one nobody has ever known.

Not even his wife. Not even his children.

Because that’s who will really have to adjust. The people closest to him. The reality is that he’s going to lose some of them. That’s just the way this works. When you are fat, you tend to surround yourself with “fat thinking” people and just because you change doesn’t mean everyone else wants to change with you. It’s like alcoholics — if you booze, you need friends who understand why and let you do it. Same with eating. It fills something… Until it doesn’t anymore. And when it doesn’t, you go your own way and those people either go with you or they don’t. Ten years later, they could still be found in the same bar sitting on the same bar stool drinking the same thing at the same time of day with the same shirt on. That’s the grip of addiction. And when you’ve had enough, you’ve had enough. But nobody can tell you when that’s got to be. You have to decide for yourself. It only happens when you get sick and tired of being sick and tired. When the addiction to living trumps the addiction of hiding from real life.

And I’d put money down that he was at that point three months ago. “Fuck being President…. I need to live.”

He’s going to gain everything, but he’s also going to lose a lot.

Least of all… The weight.

Not long after I lost 260+ pounds stemming from my own WLS, I lost my entire life. All my friends, my marriage, my home, my belongings, my job… Everything. There were other circumstances leading up to that, of course, but the main reason, I’m convinced, is that most people just couldn’t make the leap from “fat Deane” to “thin Deane”. And I don’t mean in the physical sense, I mean in the emotional and spiritual sense. As a newly thin and healthy man, I was no longer interested in hanging out at Fuddruckers. And they still were. So, something had to give, and it was either me or them. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to sit around eating hamburgers and allow myself to balloon back up to 465 lbs. again. Those days were gone for good.

So I bailed. I left that life behind and started anew. I started building the life that I’d always wanted and knew deep down that I deserved for myself. Again, I became the most self-obsessed person I knew. Me first. That was the new philosophy. And I’d never lived that way before. And Chris Christie will hit that point. In about a year, he’ll start seeing the real effects of his decision to get WLS.

Mark my words: His life will look 100% different. I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if he starts doing “crazy” shit like, oh I don’t know… switching political parties!!! I’m not kidding for a second. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if going into the 2016 election cycle Chris Christie emerges as a moderate Liberal. EVERYTHING changes. And I’m not just super-imposing my experience: As a volunteer to hundreds of potential WLS patients over the years through the incredible WLS program at Huntington Hospital in Pasadena I’ve seen crazier stuff than that from people. I’ve seen people completely switch gears in their careers, totally turn their political leanings in another direction… even realize that they are gay. Stripping off the blanket of your false outward appearance literally changes everything. And it’s good. It’s real life.

This is the point of this conversation where most WLS patients would insert the “You won’t get it unless you’ve gone through it” statement. But I don’t believe in that and I’ve never subscribed to it. We aren’t special or unique because we used to be fat and now we aren’t. In fact, I know enough about recovery and addiction to know that everyone is an addict somehow. There isn’t one person on the planet who doesn’t struggle with addiction. You might be addicted to food, drugs, booze or sex just as much as the next person is addicted to work, material possessions, playing on Facebook, watching Housewives of Beverly Hills, exercising at the gym, gambling, driving fast, Internet porn, or yes, even… Music.

Everyone gets what I’m talking about. Don’t you? Yes. You do. Because you have a facade working for you, too, that everyone is comfortable with. Everyone but you, that is. And that’s really what this is about, isn’t it? We all hide. We’re all scared. We’re ALL Chris Christie in our own special way. We all want to just be ourselves and “to hell with what everyone else thinks”.

And that’s the true magic of individuality. When you get to the place where you just don’t care what the opinions are anymore… You are just going to be you. Nothing more, nothing less. You are going to do what you want to do, say what you want to say, and be who you want to be.

That’s what the world really wants, whether they know it or not.

EASTERN CHRONICLE is my new album that is available worldwide on T-ABC Records. You can download it here on the website in any uncompressed format you can think of. You can also get it in AAC format from iTunes, on MP3 from Amazon.com and in various formats on just about every digital carrier that is out there including Spotify and MOG. If a physical copy is more your speed, the CD is available at retailers throughout Asia and North America.