Be Very Afraid

This morning I gave my first interview for Eastern Chronicle. It went well. It won’t be out for a while — not until after the release — so I will let you know then when and where it hits. It is for an online magazine that focuses on world and indigenous music. The woman who interviewed me was completely and thoroughly prepared — she’d done her homework on the project, which was nice for a change. Most of the time interviewers have no business interviewing anyone. But I digress…

She asked me a lot of questions about my influences and what the impetus was behind me taking some time from my usual routine to write and record this album. She also asked me a really interesting question right at the end. In hindsight, I’m not sure if she was just trying to shake me or what, but whatever her reason, it stayed with me and started me thinking even as I was headed out to the parking lot to get in my taxi. She said, “This is a new world for you, solo recording. What are you ready for? I mean, if the record is not well-received, say… people are offended over your use of Western influences with Eastern indigenous vocals and traditional singing — are you afraid of a backlash?”

Fucking great question. I’ve never been asked that before… about anything. “Are you afraid of a backlash?” Brilliant. It’s a fascinating concept when you start thinking about it, even on a more macro scale. What if what you put out is received as the biggest piece of crap to ever hit ear drums? Then what?

Fear

Fear is somewhat foreign to me as a filmmaker. As a film composer, I am but one link in a chain of people who are providing a service to the larger production. Should the film fail critically or even financially at the box office, I’d say close to 98% of moviegoers won’t be looking my way, no matter whose fault it truly is. The director takes the blame in film. The producers take it in television. Every once in a while, the most visible person in the show — the lead actor — takes it. Poor bastard. But the composer rarely does. In fact, outside of the circle of film music aficionados (which, like it or not, makes up a minuscule percentage of the voices that truly matter in the collective conscience of the mainstream media) people just don’t pay much attention to the music in a film. Most folks don’t even realize there is music in a movie until you tell them it’s there. Some composers complain about that, but I think it’s a good thing. If I’m doing my job well, people will be so absorbed by the story that they don’t see the elements making up that story as pieces, but as a seamless whole. Again… I digress. The point is, you don’t have to worry very much about taking the blame in film if it’s not well received by the public. That’s what directors are for.

But when you release something as personal and naked and raw as a solo record, you are sort of hanging your ass out there to be spanked. There is nobody but you to take the blame. YOU are the director. YOU are the producer. YOU are the lead actor. It’s all you. I’m quickly discovering this. Even when I was releasing records with bands and recording a lot early in my career, I still had a “group of guys” to hide behind should the rotten tomatoes come flying my direction. But when it’s all you, it’s another story. You might even have someone producing your record for you… doesn’t matter. It’s you whose head will be hunted should the record blow proverbial goats. It’s you who will get crucified should people think what you’ve done is pure drivel. It’s you who will suffer financially. You, you, you. All you.

Excitement

In a sick sort of way, that’s kind of why I’m having so much fun doing my solo project. I’m going to take the fall if things don’t work out. I’ll have nobody to blame but Deane. When I’m doing a film, I am so shielded by all the reality of the experience. I’m not sure how else to say that and as I type this I’m fighting to find better words to express my meaning. It’s almost like you live in a bubble as a film composer. There is no real point where you get to stand outside of it. There is never a time where anyone really expects you to own up to what you’ve written. Nobody in an interview with a film composer has ever said, “So, this music wasn’t that great. Why?” You just don’t hear that in the film music world. We are all too busy kissing each others’ asses. We are living in that bubble. We really don’t have anything to do with the greater path of the project, so we’re never held responsible. It’s sort of like being the guy in solitary confinement in a prison. You’re not mixed in with everyone else. This is bad and good: Bad in the sense that you don’t get much social interaction, but good in the sense that if some dude decides to be a wiseass and start a mutiny, you are safe from any residual violence or anarchy.

And that’s why the path to releasing this record has been such a joy… the success of it lives and dies with my idea’s original conception. If it was a great idea well executed, then I’m good. Even if people don’t like the production, they might like the idea. Maybe that will spark someone else to take the same idea but make it better and do it more justice than I could. That would be awesome, I think. Or maybe the idea wasn’t great, but the production is solid and the players are all brilliant. Someone can then take that blueprint and expand it with an equally as brilliant concept and really hit it out of the park.

Or maybe, just maybe, my idea was great… and so has been the execution of it. That would be the whole enchilada, right there. That would be the result I’d be most satisfied with. But no matter what happens – people love it, people hate it – it’s all on ME. It’s Deane Ogden’s fault. I did it, or I didn’t do it. I pulled it off, or I missed the mark. For me, that’s all that counts.

It’s my bubble to burst.

EASTERN CHRONICLE is my new album that is available worldwide on T-ABC Records. You can download it here on the website in any uncompressed format you can think of. You can also get it in AAC format from iTunes, on MP3 from Amazon.com and in various formats on just about every digital carrier that is out there including Spotify and MOG. If a physical copy is more your speed, the CD is available at retailers throughout Asia and North America.


Comments

  1. Terry Jones says:
    July 15, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    For what it's worth from what I've heard so far this is definitely a hit with me, but the again it probably won't be a hit with everyone, how could it be? Even Michael Jackson wasn't always hit with everyone.

    It may also be true that some people will take offence at the blending of the different cultural elements within the music, to which I'd simply argue that the act of creating music (or anything for that matter) for most of us is ultimately a culmination of all those things that have influenced us personally in our journey through life. If those things happen to have come from being fortunate to have travelled widely and experienced new things first hand then so be it!

    The fact that you've been honest with yourself, had a go and not sat there worrying about what other people think is all that matters in the end Deane."You can't please all the people all of the time" as a wise person once said and as artists we probably shouldn't really try to, we should just be ourselves.

  2. Marc Lawson says:
    July 15, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    I can totally relate to this as a songwriter. It really is a risky thing to take something that you have created solely on your own and put it out there for everyone to hear (and judge). I had never thought of the contrast between that and being a film composer, but you're right… the director really takes weight of responsibility for the success of a movie. Hell, even if the music sucks, they picked the composer, so shame on them!

    But, as an independent artist, you're just out there on your own… naked, vulnerable and flapping in the wind. Hahah! But, no worries… something tells me that sense of adventure is right up your alley :-)

    I'm really looking forward to hearing the record. The only expectation I have is that it will be 100% pure and genuine DO. In that, I doubt I will be disappointed. If there is a cultural blend in the music, that's because there's a cultural blend in your life! It's honest and genuine, so screw the critics! You are making the music that's in your heart and you're the only one on this planet who can do that. I think that's pretty exciting!

  3. Stacy Chambers says:
    July 15, 2012 at 9:24 pm

    JK Rowling hit the nail on the head when she addressed Harvard a couple of years ago: "It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously you might as well not have lived at all—in which case, you fail by default."

    In so many ways, your venture has already been a resounding success. At least in part because of this album, you've gotten business across the pond, and you met someone and married her. No small things. That might not take the sting out of an artistic disappointment, but you wouldn't have the things you do if you hadn't taken this risk.

    And if there IS a backlash, to me that would imply that the album is successful on some level. I mean, your album would really have to suck if all you got was negative feedback. Even if that were the case (which I'm 100% sure it won't be), a backlash is feedback, and feedback is crucial. It's data, information for what not to do (or which criticisms to ignore) the next time around. So. While I totally understand the fear of failing publicly… ultimately, a backlash could be one of those "good problems."