Being Done

I spoke this morning with someone who is mutual friends with someone from my past. Someone who I was once close to. Someone who I now haven’t been close to for a long time. They are not over the fact that we are not close like we once were. Things that person said and did forced me to end the friendship. It’s been gone, done, dead for a long time now. And it’s time they get past it.

This post might not be for you. Maybe it is. I’m going to go off the reservation here and assume that it’s for somebody out there. Maybe it’s for the person in the paragraph above. Maybe I’m teaching them. Still.

You cannot dwell on failures. Failures happen. They are part of life. Failure is the catalyst to success. Always. Something always has to fail in order for something else to succeed. It’s all perspective. You might lose a scoring gig. Your security. A friend. All your money. A lover. For whatever reason, you weren’t ready for it. That’s not a failure. That’s a fact. Creative people understand instinctively that The Universe knows what we need when we need it. It takes care of us. Art is somehow intrinsic to a deeper connection with the natural rhythm of success and failure. That’s why it hurts so much when it’s happening, and feels so good when it’s over.

Jerry Goldsmith said, “You don’t ever finish a score, you abandon it.” You walk away. It’s done when it has to be done. There is a rhythm to knowing when that time is. It could be deadline driven. It could be a natural thing that you feel in your bones. But you know when you know. It’s over. You have to put down the paintbrush now, and walk away. Let it live. Without you.

Artists and painters have to love their masterpiece enough to let them go. Let them be. Allow them the fate of someone else’s possession. Musicians have to love their music enough to let it make someone else feel something. Let it serve another master. Allow it the fate of someone else’s memories now. Parents have to learn to let go and let their children fly on their own. To really find what they are capable of in life without mom or dad looking over their shoulder, cleaning up their messes. To allow them the fate of the world that awaits them. Lovers need to love deeply enough to be okay with that person never coming back. To be at peace with them finding their identity, independent of you. They have to want their best to the extent of putting their own self second, and with all the courage and strength they have within themselves… allowing the fate of their own love to be enough for two people.

Things end. They stop. People change. They move, they morph, they evolve. You have to learn to be with that. In the arts, it’s a constant adjustment. In life, it’s a constant reality.

[divider style="top"]