Make the “Ask”

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Have you ever been on a flight, sitting there in your seat, and long before the cabin crew is even thinking about serving the passengers lunch or dinner, one of them emerges from the galley with a stack of meals, walks right past you and the other 215 hungry people, and delivers them to an anxious and overjoyed traveller?

Well… I have. I fly a lot. In the last three months, I've witnessed this scenario a total of six times. A company-agnostic phenomenon, it seems to happen on a variety of airlines I patron. It happened again earlier this week on a flight from Los Angeles. The young woman seated next to me got her breakfast about 10 minutes into cruising altitude. When I stopped an attendant and asked if they were serving, with a nod toward my aisle-mate, I got the response, "I'm sorry , sir. We will serve everyone in about twenty minutes." WTF?

Who is this lost tribe of favored souls? Are these people sons, daughters, or cousins of the pilot? Are they sick and need food now or they're going to die? What the hell is going on? I want my processed powdered eggs and fake bacon, damn it!

Well, after some questions to my aisle-mate, it turns out the answer is pretty hilarious. How does she enjoy these extended privileges, while all of us—who paid the same amount of money to be there—can only just sit there and watch her eat? How does she travel in such preferential style? Ready for the big reveal?

Fuck. Seriously?

She's enjoying these royal liberties because she made a frickin' phone call? Yep. That's exactly what she did. All it took was a little thinking ahead... and an ask.

Make the Ask

More often than not, that's all it would take for you, as well. Think about your work, your life, your "chances", your place in the line, your odds… All of it. What if you just asked to be moved to the front of the line? To be given early warning? To be granted priority entrance or preferred seating? To be notified ahead of the masses? To be considered first for the gig? To be given first right of refusal on an opportunity? Hmmm…

Sadly, some people never get those things in life either because they are too afraid to ask for them, they don't feel they deserve them, or because they don't realize that they can simply just ask for them. There is nothing at all wrong with asking. The least someone can do is tell you "no".

But isn't asking for things that aren't necessarily available to others a bit elitist? I don't think so. In fact, let me suggest that you might do yourself a favor in developing a subtle sliver of entitlement. It's fighting for a career quality (or a quality of life!) greater than your current one. It's positioning yourself for advantage. There is nothing wrong with that, provided you aren't hurting someone by doing it.

I do it all the time. Not with my airline meals, obviously!!! ... but with other things in my daily routine. You should try it. When you book a flight, ask to be upgraded to 1st Class... on the house! You might be surprised at how cool they are about it. I've done that dozens of times. Or, the next time you buy clothes from a department store, tell them you want custom-fit tailoring with the purchase. Nordstrom has some of the best tailors in the business. If you ask for it, they'll almost always throw it in for free. Conversely, if you ask them for a list of their tailoring fees, they'll gladly tell you.

There are many ways to gain advantage in business and in life. It's not a crime to want to be ahead of the pack. The crime happens when you are unscrupulous about how you get there. That's where you'll run into problems. But leading out, thinking strategically, and beating others to the punch are just some of the raw, bare bone, fundamentals of good business.

People love to give. They love it. Even when they don't seem to love it, they are really really loving it. It's in our nature to give. Being on the receiving end every once in a while isn't such a bad thing.

But ya gotta ask for it, or they'll never know you want it.

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