YES or NO, But Mean It

Do you know how you get yourself into trouble? Do you understand what it is you do that blows your deadlines? I would wager that probably some of it has to do with how you respond to other people’s demands on your time. A lot of people allow themselves to get painted into a corner by not being firm in their answers to those kinds of requests.

Saying YES

We say YES in different ways. Sometimes, we just come right out with it. “Sure! I can do that!” That’s what I call the “Whim YES.” Saying YES on a whim. It seems clear. It seems easy. But it’s not. The Whim YES is the YES that really screws you over. It’s the most dangerous YES there is. Casually throwing around the Whim Yes without A) Checking your real availability, or B) Evaluating the ROI of the request, is a very stupid way to do business. Circumstance “A” leads to the erosion of your integrity because your mouth is writing checks your ass can’t cash—and that always catches up with you. Circumstance “B” leads to the erosion of reward: The time spent is greater than the gross production of that time.

So, what do you do? Well, first, you have to eradicate the Whim YES from your life… Completely. Gone. Out. 86′d. Done. You will never get anywhere in your creative life if you are constantly throwing around the Whim YES. The Whim YES is the greatest thief of time. It robs you of your availability. And it’s powerful—you cannot run fast enough to get out ahead of it, so you just need to break the habit of doing it, and then get it our of your life altogether.

After you do that, you might consider adopting my decisive method for evaluating potential “yes” opportunities. It’s a bit crass, but I live by this: “Hell yes!… or it ain’t worth it.” When I am presented with an opportunity, when I read a script, when I meet with a filmmaker, when I’m walking away after meeting with a potential partner, when I’m interviewing a new team member… Shit, when I’m deciding what airline I’m flying next week… If it doesn’t LIGHT ME THE HELL UP… Forget it. It’s going to be more trouble than it’s worth. It’s a gut thing. I can’t live with something being juts a ”Two Thumbs Up”. I need a “Two ENTHUSIASTIC Thumbs Up”, or it’s probably not worth my attention. A simple “yes” is not enough. I need to be bonkers over it. It has to be a Hell Yes!

If you are spending more time on “yes” things and less time on “Hell Yes!” things, you might want to look at that. It could be why you are not where you want to be.

Saying NO

We say NO in different ways, too, but for most people saying NO is harder than saying YES. That’s because saying YES makes people like us. Saying NO makes people not like us, and who doesn’t want to be liked? We want that acceptance from people, so we toss out that Whim YES like it’s nothing. Saying NO is going to piss somebody off. We equate NO with “rejection”, which everyone knows… Sucks! Who wants to be known as a rejector? Nobody. So we say YES, and then we get into it a bit, and when we finally reach the point where we just simply cannot take it anymore, we say, “You know what? This isn’t really working. I can’t do this anymore.” Translation: NO. There you go… It ended up a NO anyway. You find yourself saying that common line we all have said: “Man, I never should have done that to start with.” Sound familiar?

The key is to start with NO, and not end with NO. To say NO before you are forced to. If you can get in the habit of doing that, then you are really on to something. Mastering the upfront NO—that’s what it’s really all about. And that’s tough because, again, we want to be liked, so we say YES.

YES or NO, But Mean It

You might be thinking, “Deane, this is a concept for a three-year-old. Where’s my Essential Skills of a Modern Day Film Composer post? That’s what I came here for, you bastard!” I know. It is simple. Very simple. So simple, in fact, that most people don’t ever consider it, and it kills their business. In my conversations with Creatives and their dissatisfaction with their level of success, it’s an issue that consistently crops up.

I’ve heard the saying somewhere to “Let your yes be yes, and your no be no.” That might be one of the best bits of life advice I’ve ever heard. It’s simple, and it’s true. Carefully consider what you commit to and do not commit to, and then stick with it. Don’t back down. That last part will make you or break you in the business of creative arts. That is, if you let it.

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